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Mild Mannered Reviews - Teen Titans

Teen Titans #54

Teen Titans #54

Scheduled to arrive in stores: December 26, 2007

Cover date: February 2008

"The Titans of Tomorrow... Today!" - Conclusion: "Fight the Future"

Writer: Sean McKeever
Penciller: Eddy Barrows, Joe Prado and Greg Tocchini
Inker: Rob Hunter, Julio Ferreira, Oclair Albert & Joe Prado

Reviewed by: Jeffrey Bridges

Click to enlarge



Robin and Miss Martian become Captains Exposition and recap what's been going on. The Titans Army attack Titans Lair, original home of the Teen Titans. Blue Beetle is inside, pleading with future Bart to help him. Future Bart agrees, helps Beetle escape just as the Titans Army enters, and then future Bart jumps through Starro, easily defeating him.

Future Cassie tells present Cassie that she's not really Supergirl's best friend, and is just using her to fill the void of no Kryptonian in her life, even if she doesn't know it yet, and Kara will find out and then there will be repercussions. Future Conner shows up, Cassie swoons, and then discovers that he doesn't remember her at all because he's just a clone.

Robin confronts future Luthor, who tells the Titans Army to kill Blue Beetle, Ravager and Supergirl, the three who never joined his army in the future. Supergirl beats the crap out of everyone, Cassie realizes it's time to move on and kisses Tim, and future Conner sees this and goes after him, only to be shot with a Kryptonite bullet by future Tim, who called it self-defense.

As future Conner is shot, he fades from existence. And then all the other Titans Army members also fade from existence. Supergirl says the JLA is fighting the Sinestro Corps in space, and Robin says they have to help... because they're the Titans.

Then we go eight years into the future to Titans Island, where Tim and Cassie are having a picnic. Then Tim goes inside, gets kissed by Miss Martian, Lex shows up with a Batman suit for Tim, and Bart and Conner (and others) are growing in clone chambers.

3Story - 3: Even though I missed the opening portion of this story, I can still tell that this issue was mostly a big mess. There are all kinds of things that don't add up and seemed to exist simply as an easy and/or "cool" way out of the story.

Why did Conner disappear when he was shot? I don't recall ever seeing people who'd traveled from the future to the past suddenly disappear if they were killed. But that's not even that big of an issue, if you assume the readers aren't experts on time travel (and really, who is?).

What really irks me is that when Conner is shot and dies/vanishes... so do the entire rest of the Titans Army. What? Why? What sense does that make?!

If present TIM was killed, the Titans Army would vanish, because he wouldn't be there in the future to lead them. Or if present LEX was killed, the same thing. Future Conner being killed does not negate every single other person from the future from existing!

It's nonsense.

What's double nonsense is Tim, knowing full well of his "future self's" mistakes and that going into the past didn't work and just led to him being ERASED FROM EXISTENCE, would then make the exact same mistake again and follow the exact same path. Isn't the entire point of the future Titans coming to the present so that the present Titans can LEARN to not make those mistakes? And what would motivate Tim to want to do that? Why was he kissing Miss Martian one page after he kissed Cassie?

Even worse, what on earth would motivate Miss Martian to want to do that, and say she's been "waiting her whole life" for this moment... when she would know full well going into the past only means that her past self would BEHEAD HER?!

More nonsense, done to give a DUN DUN DUNNNNN! "cool" ending. OH NOES! It might be "real!" GASP! SHOCK!

Except for the tiny little fact that, for it to be real, the characters would either have to be complete idiots or be totally out of character from what we're shown.

If you want to do that ending, fine. But instead of a random page of Tim and Cassie at a picnic and kissing, tee hee hee, why not give us a page of Tim contemplating going back into the past and giving us some MOTIVATION as to what would make him decide to make the exact same mistake his predecessor did, especially when he already knows the outcome.

All he says is the original Batman's "sort of heroism isn't enough anymore". Based on... what? The fact that the Titans have an island and all is sunny and happy and he's having picnics?

CURSE YOU, BATMAN.

Missed story beats and random "cool-factor" nonsense bring this book way down, and some of the dialogue is just atrocious.

Miss Martian: But first, let me reveal my true self...

...as we can all see she's revealing her true self! The next time I go to the fridge, I'm going to exclaim to my son, "I am opening the fridge, for I am looking for a comestible, you see!"

Miss Martian has another atrocious one on page one, with, "He's got the Flash - the future one, Bart Allen - locked up in there."

And in the very next panel, Robin says, "Let's take a moment, while we're safe and out of the way, to work up some sort of..."

Who talks like that? Come on, folks.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a moment, while I'm sitting at my computer writing my review, to bash my head into the wall.

3Art - 3: The art was disjointed and odd, probably due to the huge number of artists working on this book. And some of it was just downright odd, like future Cassie on page 6.

Do we REALLY need to see a string of spit hanging from the top of her mouth to the bottom?

Nay, I say. Nay.

3Cover Art - 3: Completely irrelevant to the story at hand, mostly, but it's still a pretty cool action pose. I would have really liked to see that Kara/future Conner throwdown, though, so that was kind of disappointing.


Mild Mannered Reviews

2008

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