REVIEW:

This episode had promise. Has promise, actually. It was decent to view, and I actually enjoyed a number of parts. It was like the hundredth episode. Starts out really great, Lana dying, telling the secret, and then, like the Bugs Bunny plane when Gremlins get up in his grill, it nosedives into complete, incoherent crap. Then noses up a bit again.

I have the great pleasure of writing this tonight and not tomorrow because of Stephen G, who I owe a debt of gratitude for the paper, the TiVo, and the time. While I was in Texas, he set me up.

We start with a nice exterior farm shot. Figured I'd note that, because it was nice. Clark, sitting, thinking about Lara, but not Martha, it should be noted, but still, a decent little moment.

Kara walks in, fresh from Coast City, toting a surfboard. Now Jimmy's also a great surfer, apparently. There's another thing there. Characters can do absolutely ANYTHING on this show. You need computer knowledge? BAM. You got it. You need to know how to break into a facilty? BAM! Tap phones? BAM!

Regardless, I am more amused by the fact that a low-level photographer can somehow afford to fly across the country to surf. Coast City's on the West Coast, dingbats.

Oh, wait. I forgot. Metropolis is in... sigh. Kansas. And three minutes to three hours from Smallville. Depending on: BAM! What you need.

Clark's response about Lana? She's out visiting Aunt Nell. Then he picks up the dictionary, pulls it open to gullible, and finds his picture. Also: Stupid, naïve, deserving of condemnation. Lana has been doing all her awful, evil crap under the guise of "visiting Nell" all season. Clark wins dumb as Clark.

Clark does one of those "projecting" lines, where he talks about how it seems your parents are calling out to you, right before his mother calls out to him. A bit obvious. More than a bit.

And at any rate, I thought Clark's parent calls out to Lionel. HEY-OH!

The crystal (which we notably never find out how Clark got) starts calling out to Clark. Particularly given it's Kara's crystal, and particularly given that there was no way the crystal would likely know Clark as an adult anyway, this is odd. Why doesn't it call out to Kara? This means that Zor-El foresaw Krypton's destruction, and that baby Clark would be a better person to give the crystal than fully adult (and notoriously impulsive) Kara, member of a family who actually listens to Zor-El, as opposed to the son of the man he tried to, uh, kill in this continuity.

Clark touches the crystal and it inexplicably teleports him to his own Fortress. Jor-El admonishes Clark, telling him that Zor-El is a bad guy, and that he shouldn't bring back his mother, etcetera. He vilifies Zor-El for... bringing back someone long dead.

What's particularly ironic about this is that what Jor-El is vilifying Zor-El for is exactly what he did with the first "Kara," except Zor-El's preserved two actual lives (corrupt though one may be) and Jor-El's essentially co-opted the life of an innocent.

He says that Zor-El is motivated by power, and greed. In the same episode that he uses his power to enforce his own greedy goal: To make Clark what he wants him to be. Again, not many points for a sane, civil Jor-El.

Jor-El of: "Rule them with strength, my son, that is where your greatness lies!"

So yeah, we have mythology, but totally incomprehensible, contradictory mythology. If Bush is the Decider, Jor-El is the Explainer. And soap.

Then we go back to the old standby: Need Kryptonian tech to do something? Stab it in! To the tune of Glade Plug-Ins:

STAB IT IN! STAB IT IN! I'm surprised Luthor didn't sing it in Superman Returns.

I wish our tech worked like that. My stinking mouse won't work, so I stab it into a toaster, and suddenly my mother pops out.

Actually, I'm never gonna touch that toaster again.

Lara appears, and Clark stammers. She says, "Jor-El, is that you?"

Clark replies, "No, ma! It's just me, Oedipus!"

Zor-El appears, despite no DNA leech trail, and we have a teaser, and a decent one, actually, incoherence aside. It's a neat dilemma, if you totally disregard continuity and just take it for what it is.

Zor-El, for his part, or the guy who plays him, anyway, did fine work. He was a bit creepy, and raw, but that was most of the point. Good work.

Lara speaks to Clark, and is somehow aware of Krypton's doom. This is odd, considering that it would be very difficult for Zor-El to take the DNA of his mother just before Krypton exploded, which is presumably what it would take for her to have those later memories. I can just see it now:

Alurra: "Zor-El! Where are you going? The planet is exploding!"

Zor: "Uh, I gotta work late, honey. You know how it is."

Then, giggling, he sneaks up behind Lara just as they set Kal-El into the pod, pulling out one of her hairs. "YOINK!"

He stares at it for a second, "Hmmm! Not a virgin!" then sticks it in his bubbling brew. Isobel nods approvingly. Then they both go back in time and set meteor rocks all over the place despite them not being created yet.

Kara's acting is getting a bit better, though it's still somewhat wooden. She sees Lara, and turns to Clark and says, "You had it [the crystal] all this time?"

Amazing how the OBJECT OF DESIRE of six episodes suddenly gets one line of astonishment when it's found, when she was willing to throw him through walls just a few episodes back.

Lara calls Zor-El a "replicant." Snort. Call in Indiana Jones. He'll ruin a replicant's day. With Harrison Ford around, a repli-can't becomes a repli-can. Wait. I messed that smack talk up.

Decent Daily Planet establishing shot. They're getting cooler.

Lois and Gabriel, blah blah blah, making out, crappy pithy banter, Chloe sees, OH NO! Secrets! Lies! Soap opera crap. Projectile vomiting. Most uninspired subplot since the last uninspired subplot.

Plus Lois sleeping to the top, to make it sweeter. Grand.

Zor-El is now essentially the Eradicator, which is odd, because Brainiac was essentially the same. And Jor-El created Brainiac. Point of fact, most Kryptonians seem to have the same basic, muddied interpretation of a motivation. But Zor-El is very much an Eradicator type figure.

He's a brilliant scientist who clones, and yet he's still too dumb to realize that genetically speaking, Adam and Eve is a tough slog with one set of genes. They're all related, you see... save Zor-El and Lara. Even if they had kids, neither one of them could have kids with Clark or Kara without being with their half-sibling. Kind of perverse, actually. You'd be glad that I deleted the joke I put right here, for the sake of my life. Unless you want me dead. In which case, look over there.

YOINK! I've got your hair! I've got your hair! Hmmm. Pure.

Zor-El bursts in on Lionel and trashes him up. The rationale behind this is, uh, because he wants Lionel, as Jor-El's vessel, to convince Clark to trust him. Because, as we can see from Lionel's complete lack of presence for the rest of the episode, this is vital.

He screams in, and says, "JOR-EL'S VESSEL!" to the tune of some horrid trumpets. It's literally like a scene in the Batman show from the 60s. Watch it again. Oy.

Lionel then responds, "ZOR-EL!" like he knows who he is. Then the next scene, he goes, "Uh, Clark, he wants someone called...Laura? Lara?" like he doesn't know who Jor-El's wife is. They're either going for him playing Clark, or not knowing what he's getting into. Either way, it's typical Lionel. Inconsistent, not going anywhere, and mostly pointless, no matter how great Glover really is.

Lionel murdered two episodes back. He's now Jor-El's vessel again, and protecting Clark. So he's a good and bad guy whose motives are pure and evil and mysterious and unspeakably deep. Or he's just inconsistent. You choose.

The sad thing is, Clark WOULD probably turn to Lionel to judge a person's character on this show. That's how warped the values have become.

Beyond that, Zor-El states that he finds Jor-El's vessel by checking the Fortress, which is odd, considering that if Zor-El and Jor-El were enemies, Zor-El would have access to Jor-El's Fortress when even Kara doesn't, as the episode later indicates?

Clark then appears, from nowhere, and belts Zor-El out the window. Why Clark knows to be there, or how, is way beyond me. The leap from, "Zor-El is on the loose" to "Maybe Lionel is a target" is greater than the leap of logic in me still believing this show has a chance to jump back to coherency.

Zor-El then just leaves. And why? Because it's a commercial break.

Chloe's condemnation of Lois is pretty light in terms of a spanking. She seems very concerned that Lois might ruin her career. If I were Chloe, I'd be livid that Lois was using her sexuality to get beyond her lack of talent to surpass me. But hey, that implies that Chloe would be an assertive, positively oriented female instead of someone who is either "reactionary" or "out to protect her friends."

Bottom line, it's been dumb from minute one that Lois would sleep with her boss. The only excuse, "BUT THEY'RE IN LOVE!" doesn't hold any water with me. If they were that much in love, one would quit their job or go to another paper. And besides, love isn't physical attraction and three corny lines, though this show would have you believe otherwise.

Apparently, however, it wasn't 'cuz she hot. It was actually because she was a good, principled reporter. He proves this by showing her the piece of journalism that made him revere her. The Cage Match story. Seriously. The Cage Match story.

Isn't that the one she STOLE from Chloe? Seriously.

Chloe's character is getting hit like a bore with a ramrod. Greasy cloth and all.

I now loathe Lois' character. Almost as much as Lana in terms of raw actions. Lana gets the "You're so perfect!" from everyone. But Lois is just as philosophically bankrupt right now.

Lois says she's not going to give up her, "...previously non-existent personal life!"

Hi, gal who's standing right next to you, Lois, I'm Chloe. I'm your friend and we hang out. BICH. Beyond that, Lois has had at least, at LEAST 5 romantic love interests since Chloe's had one (Jimmy). Aquaman. Green Arrow. Old soldier. Mobster. Grant. There are more, I just don't care.

Lara and Clark hang out in one of Lois' ex-boyfriend's loft. She gives him a ring... a ring that somehow materialized from Clark's DNA with Lara and yet harms his DNA. It's a ring that has blue Kryptonite in it, despite Kryptonite having not been created until after Krypton exploded, another paradox, like Jor-El setting the Kryptonite in the distant past as a trap.

He puts it on, and suddenly it's stuck to his hand. How? Did Zor-El also program the ring, which somehow came back with Lara, to adhere to fingers? And why would this matter on Earth? One would assume on Krypton if he fashioned the ring, it would have an effect, but not on Earth, where Kryptonians can rip things apart. Beyond that, Lara could have pulled it off if it was simply a "wearing it" effect. And that's what it has to be, because Lara carries it, and all four Kryptonians are near it on a regular basis for the rest of the episode (notably, when Zor-El is beating Clark down), and NONE lose their powers.

And gold kryptonite to blue with no real rationale or reason, that also sucks, particularly when they just had Bizarro on and a real reason to show blue.

Then BAM! Lana from nowhere. She makes Lara tea, and is suddenly not someone to be mistrusted, or feared, or someone who's in any way just been semi-homicidal. Sigh.

Zor-El hovering in the sky above Clark was really done well, particularly with the turn, and there he is. Neat camera trick.

Clark is a man who can hear things miles away. He's superpowered. That means that he takes basic things for granted that we find fantastic. He'd know when his powers were gone. For instance, he'd stop having to focus his hearing. He'd feel different under the sun. That's why I don't buy at all that Zor-El can punch him and have him smashed about with him expressing surprise. It's a cheap trick for effect, and it bugged me.

Throwing the car had a few issues, but it still looked cool.

"I'll never join you!" Lucas, sue this peon.

The bleeding, one must note, looks just like the Reeve blood from Superman II. Noted, and approved. I really dug that.

Lara to Lana: "I don't know much about human behavior, but you seem ill at ease!" I expected them to kiss, Kirk style. "Tell me more about this Earth custom called ill-at-ease!"

Lana's reply: "No! Not at all." And yet she is. Lana even managed to lie with this much of a bit part.

Lana gets knocked out by a very minor blow, typically. Even when there's no reason for her to be, logically. She could just be forced to stand back. I'm just bitter because I want Lex to win the KO Count, and Lana is gaining.

Lana stands right in front of a Kryptonian and threatens him, telling him to stand back. "What you gonna do, bleed on me?" SMASH! Dumb as Clark.

Clark goes to Chloe, who talks with him about the ring that... she has utterly no way of knowing exists at this point. Obviously a scene cut or something, but wow. That was really bad.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT: "Clark, my Yaris gets good mileage, but..."

Lex and Gabriel play pool, more banter. Gabriel's actor is still as wooden as wooden gets. "Is that not poetry in motion?" was so not poetry in motion, it made me want to never write poetry again, and I've written 1,900 poems.

At the Fortress, Zor-El gloats over Kara and Lara, two FULLY POWERED Kryptonians. I'm baffled as to why they didn't take the opportunity to show Lara, former Kara, using her powers. At all. Not once. She didn't try to smash the console destroying the Earth. She didn't try and overpower Zor-El, which she and Kara could have presumably done. She didn't try Kryptonite. She just kind of WAS.

Clark tries to use a grinder to cut through a ring, which made me titter. You use a grinder to sharpen things, and there are special blades you can put on them for cutting. The one he was using is a sharpening stone, at least in my experience, and grinds very slowly for precision. You'd have better luck, much better luck, with a diamond saw. And Clark would probably know that if he asked, I dunno, an idiot at Home Depot.

The weather changes.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Chloe checks her SPRINT phone with INSTA-WEATHER COVERAGE! No eclipses forecast. It must be Zor-El!

Chloe now knows astronomy like Jimmy knows surfing. By a miracle, and instantly.

In the Daily Planet, we cut to what must be the worst extra ever. I mean, it was awful. "Oh God! If this is the apocalypse, I'd better get my dogs!" Wow. Badly filmed, out of place, defeating the tone, and just totally taking you out of the drama.

Lois and Gabriel meet and exchange bad metaphors about being swept off their feet and pulling the cord on the parachute. I wake up from my coma for the next scene, wiping off the disgust vomit. Incredibly predictable, awful, add in descriptors.

Lara goes for the "Naman and Zegief" knife with different coloring. Odd. Apparently Jor-El believed in self-defense, just not in any real way. Just a knife. Oh yeah, and that PORTAL TO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION FOR IMPRISONING EVIL PEOPLE. Whups. Guess Lara was just barefoot, pregnant, and incredibly retarded. As for me, my wife will know how to use my guns.

Kara attacks Zor-El, but she does it at regular speed as opposed to superspeed. WTF?

Zor-El easily dispatches her after some british guy cries, "She's got a knoif!"

Zor-El starts to kill her, and she tells him that humans are great, and that's the one thing she's learned on her time on Earth... right after she's had a petulant bout of running away from the one who cared for her.

Then, incoherency, total incoherency. Clark appears, having teleported in with no powers. He is still KRYPTONIAN. We know this because if he weren't, the Fortress would have activated its defense against him, presumably. Beyond that, he'd be shivering in the cold, as Chloe did. That's another inconsistency.

But at any rate, the ring would simply negate his powers, but that wouldn't mean Kryptonite wouldn't kill him. And yet there he is, carrying the rock toward Zor-El. He puts it on Zor-El's chest, and it takes him forever to push it off. That's the problem with establishing a precedent of being able to do a whole bunch of stuff while Kryptonite is killing you.

Lara assures Clark that he has to destroy the crystal, otherwise, "You cannot fulfill the destiny your father and I have envisioned for you!"

Stupid on several levels. Firstly, because it makes Clark's decision to be Superman AGAIN not a conscious choice that he makes because it's the right thing to do, but more like what happened to Darth Vader, something he just does because it's his destiny. Awful fatalism. Corrupts Lara as a character, and makes Superman less heroic.

But beyond that, she's advising that Clark kill both her replicant and Zor-El's. And he does. He kills them both. Maybe out of necessity, maybe not. Zor-El is incapacitated, and would remain so if Clark were able to touch Kryptonite.

So here's your choice:

Kill Zor-El and your mother by destroying the crystal.

Kill Zor-El with Kryptonite.

I hate to endorse the "Pocket Zod" solution, but here, it makes more sense morally.

Instead, he smashes the crystal, and somehow, as he does so, the RING EXPLODES?

WHAT?

I'm just totally cross-eyed now. Hitting it against a console does what a grinder could not?

Raises another interesting question. Clark would rather have a finger than cut one off and stop Zor-El from blotting out the sun. Granted, it's extreme, but you set yourself up for stuff like that with a stupid plot device like this. Temporary duration of power loss would have worked better.

I have a funny note here, from Labyrinth (the Bowie movie) about Clark's choice to kill his mother arbitrarily. "He chose doooooooooown!"

Cut to Kara's amnesia plot. Seriously, an amnesia plot? Can this get any more soap opera? Did no one learn anything from Spider-Man 3?

Clones, amnesia... all we need now is two characters named John and Marsha.

So Clark's back at home, and as far as he knows, he's KILLED three people with his impulsive need to see his mother. Which he blames herself for, even though she called to him... ugh.

Lana appears. LOFT SCENE! Joy!

"Hey! It's okay! You wanted to see your mother!"

IE: Clark's desires are more important than three lives. That's Lana logic for you.

She talks of how she understands wanting to meet her actual parents. "If anyone understands that, it's me!" Despite having a living father you haven't checked on in about four, five years.

"There's no point beating yourself up." She cheerfully elucidates. Yeah, why sweat the fact that three people are dead because of you. I mean, you're just Superman!

Clark says, of Lana's recent behavior (excusing it): "We all make mistakes. I'm living proof." Bad episode to try and contradict that, but generally speaking, his mistakes rectify themselves and are all with good intentions. Lana tried to kill people she didn't like, stole, attacked her friends, and all consciously, as I see it, as she didn't lose her memory.

Again with the "point of no return/precipice" speech. Used on Lex. Used on Chloe. Used on Lana now.

Clark tries to make Lana feel good about herself despite her recent attempted murder with the line, "Look at everything you went through to help my mother!"

She MADE TEA and got SHOVED for being an idiot. If anything, Lara helped her, telling her not to give in to darkness. Shock! Gasp! Making tea! Posturing and getting knocked out! Face it. She's amazing. This is supposed to make her okay after ATTEMPTED MURDER?

Clark: "You're not that far gone!" But I am, watching this.

Then, Lex and Gabriel. The BIG REVEAL. Gabriel is JULIAN.

?

!

?

!!!

???????????

For the first ten seconds, I go, wow. That really shocked me. It did. It totally blindsided me. And I was thinking, "Oh! Cool."

Then I remembered. My favorite episode is the one where Julian is killed by his own mother in front of Lex. Why? Because it establishes a catharsis for Lex.

The whole "gave him up for adoption" schtick means that Gabe is obviously a clone. Simple math. Gabe/Julian died when Lex was twelve. Lex is now approximately 29. That means that the managing editor of the Daily Planet would be 17.

Unless, of course, Smallville has missed its mark by a decade. Wouldn't surprise me.

What seems cool at first, then shockingly bad, is actually just a strange sounding clone plot as I see it. It's an odd way of justifying Gabriel, but at least it does. Now begins his death timer...

Jor-El punishes Clark again, saying, "Kara is no longer our concern." Why? Who knows. He also claims that altruism isn't his mission. Then what IS his mission, and why train Clark? Confusing, odd, and why the heck doesn't Clark just run out? For that matter, why hasn't he systematically destroyed the Fortress?

I started off watching this and reviewing it thinking, "Oh, cool!" Now that I've taken a closer look and realize what little care was put into structuring this plot, I'm going to give it a one for writing, a three to four for acting and physical execution, and meet in the middle at 2. This is for the mythology they present, which I do respect, even if it was insane and incoherent in many ways. And the Julian wow was decent. If they justify it.

Taking bets.

SUPER SHORT REVIEW:

People who come from Krypton depart from battles suddenly, rely on enemies to give people rings, and set traps for adults when they would be babies. Conversely, the mother of Superman while on Earth does not spout any fire from her eyes. Soap opera amnesia and clones conspire, but decent effects somewhat redeem. 2 of 5.

LETTERS:

Ryon Elliott wrote:
Wow, yet another person to have Clark's powers. First it was the rock collector, then Lionel, now The Beast, er, Lana. I'm just not sure what the writers were going for on this one. It almost seemed like the entire episode was meant to validate everyone's growing contempt for Lana. Also, how convenient do you find it that the transfer wasn't "complete"?

Very convenient. The appropriate question is how annoying.

Very annoting.

I think if I had experienced the tremors of Clark and Lana's dirty business, I'd never be able to wash the filth off of me.

Ryon

Heck, who could?

David Raymond wrote:
Dear Neal

Last time I wrote to you it was after an episode with red K Lip stick and green K perfume. Man that was sad. Glad that this time it's under better circumstances, an episode that was better then expected.

Likewise.

Like you I feared for the worst from "Wrath" Another evil sexy Lana episode and it still was that. Yet it also had continuity remembering past episodes which is rare for Smallville recently. Reusing how Clark transferred his powers before was lazy but referencing to the first time it happened did make up for it.

To a degree, with me.

The return of Brainiac, the discovery of Lana's secrets, Chloe doing off on Lana, those were the good things in this episode. It gave the episode enough good points not to be a total loss.

I agree.

On another note I fear that Lara is being introduced to replace Martha. God I will hate that if Clark's Birth Mother is reborn on Earth. Man. But it does look like that's where they are going with this plot.

Yep. And they are definitely using Lana as a moral advisor, sigh.

Clark treating a murderer (and he's not even a reformed murderer he just killed again) like a father figure. Jonathan is rolling in his grave. Then we have Martha who has yet to talk to her son when she moves to Dc calling up Lionel to chat with him. God it's sad, and Lionel was once one of the best characters on the show. He still is but damn.

He's still one of the best ACTORS. His character is kaput.

Well that's it this time. And remember, Lana is perfect despite all her flaws.

David Raymond

Acourse.

Ali wrote:
Hi Neal..Just wanted to say that I am a huge fan and that I have been reading your reviews for a long time now.

THANK YOU. :)

After watching wrath I have just thrown my hands up in desperation at Al and Miles. I just dont get it...what exactly are they trying to do here on smallville. This is supposed to be about Clarks journey to Superman but rather it seems to be nothing but contradictions and disrespect for the mythos. Here are a few things that I have problems with and I wonder if I am the only one...Chloe and Lana`s fake friendship(...it seems to me that they really dont like each other, keep secrets from each other and just deal with each other out of respect for clark),lois and Jimmy`s presence on the show in general, Lana and Clark`s immature relationship, making Lana a bad character needlessly, Lex`s stalled descent into evil and ultimately a failure in having Clark meet his responsibilities as a future hero.

You're not the only one. Ibid!

In my opinion, they need to wrap smallville up with the end of season 7 and need to make some basic changes to set things straight. They need to kill Chloe..she is nothing but a crutch for Clark and is redundant. Killing her will spurn Clark in to assessing what is important and moving on past smallville. Lana and Clark relationship should end romantically but she should still be there for him on a friendship level...she should take Chloe`s place in that regard. I dont understand why it is so hard for the writers to make a mature and understanding relationship btw Clark and Lana, like it should be. Chloe`s death could make Lois leave smallville & become a serious reporter and put her on the path to becoming world renound. If they really want to take the cake...Lex should be the one to kill Chloe for being to nosy and kill Lionel as well to fully cement his decent into evil. Clark would have a real reason to hate Lex. I just dont understand why Al & miles cant fix these simple things. Keep up the good work and I hope to hear back ftom u.
Take Care

Thanks! I'm guessing they'll never kill Chloe, and Lionel will die in the last episode at Lex's hand. That's my guess.

bratpop wrote:
Hi, Neal. Long time listener, first time caller. And when I say long time, I say it like Lana. So... it's not really true, but it sounds nicer. (© Lana Lang)

Heh. Awesome.

[quote]Wrong, babe. Not a simile. A metaphor. It IS nothing can hurt you.[/quote]
Actually Neal, it's not even a metaphor. It just IS nothing can hurt you. But it's LIKE a giant demented armadillo terrorizing the city of Smalltropolis because it wants a pony. Oh wait, it already has a pony. Well, then it's like the giant demented armadillo wants ANOTHER pony. Made of ice cream. It's LIKE that. Except for the part about armadillos and ice cream ponies, and instead with a demented ex-cheerleader who is just angry because either she doesn't have any skills, or she can't figure out how to use whatever skills manifest themselves except for evil that she thinks is dogooderness.

In pie.

[quote]We see sentient metal.[/quote]
Except that, for some reason, it looks like used motor oil with a spiky computer-generated sponge in it. Like on the X-Files, instead of like in Terminator 2. But with a spikey sponge. Huh? Clearly the best version of Brainiac since he wore a pink one-piece.

He needs a monkey named L-Ron.

[quote]Furious at her friend caring about her, she picks up a picture of her on a horse, glares at it, and THROWS IT THROUGH A MIRROR![/quote]
Wow, I failed to realize that was a picture of her on a horse. I think I get it though. New evil Lana smash picture of old, horse-liking Lana. It's uh "symbolic." Even though she was riding a horse 15 minutes ago. I didn't really notice this because I was too busy watching them rip off the BIONIC WOMAN method of superhearing (read: cheaper), which is to brush your hair away from your ear (because I don't know about you, but I can't hear through a whole half inch of hair as it is). Yes, I LOVE this new "effect"! And the spotlight on the ear? Perfection. That silly old bionic woman still zooms in and shows her bionic eardrum. THINK of the money she's wasting!

I haven't seen Bionic Woman, but I imagine I'd agree.

[quote]Going homicida-crazy is established as a choice, which is why it's so odd and implausible in the show.[/quote]
Right, but she's the poor little rich girl and everybody won't pay attention to her and give her presents anymore, so of course the screwed up recently-teen is going to go homi-crazy-cidal like people who are affected with Kryptonite (even though she's not affected with Kryptonite... though she is affected BY Kryptonite, because she's automatically Kryptonian now).

Acourse.

[quote]"The world should know what a LIAR you are!"[/quote]
Right... but not Lana, because... Lana is AMAZING. I mean, even though the world already doesn't particularly have an affinity for Lex Luthor, they should know that he's an even BIGGER rich jerk than he already seems to be. But, well, Lana was only ever on ONE magazine cover. So, you know, there's no point telling the world that Mrs. Lex Luthor is such a liar. Well, because... think of how hard it would be to get on ANOTHER magazine cover!

Or shop in Paris. With Lex's ten mil.

Remind me again, what was he lying about? I thought Lex always had his bases covered. Did he ever say he WASN'T investigating aliens with the DDS? BTW, Lana keeping secrets about Lex becoming Zod, counts for nothing? I mean, if you're gonna spill the beans on Lex Luthor, don't you have to mention that part, and how you helped cover it up? And uh, faking your own death, that's not lying I guess. But researching aliens... yeah. And she's going to expose the existence of aliens to the world, to show what a LIAR Lex Luthor is? And they're from what planet again?

LEXXOR!

[quote]You knock my friend out, we're gonna have to have A TALK that ends in A WALK.[/quote]
Not to mention, you know, throwing a picture of yourself through my mother's antique mirror (with no superpowered aftereffects), which I would clearly have heard with my superhearing, found out about afterward, and probably been concerned about due to the fact that it points to you being quite unstable for no apparent reason. Aw, all is forgiven.

Ah, hadn't thought of that one. Good catch.

[quote]Again, this is the writers saying, "Lex is so evil! He's done so many things!" when he really hasn't.[/quote]
But Neal, he TAUNTED Aquaman with a glass of WATER. That is EVIL. The world needs to be protected. Did you know Aquaman is now AFRAID of water even though he requires it? He has frequent panic attacks and is on several types of medications. Lex Luthor must be stopped. Oh, unless he shuts down the Talon. That would, like, suck!

Well, to be fair, there was the time he tortured Cyborg briefly, and the man he killed. The one man. Which, you know, Clark has done about fifty times.

[quote]I think what could have made this episode good was some sort of consequences for her actions.[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Whew, that's a good one. lolz.

Yeah, I know. Heh.

3 out of 5, really? They did you the favor of calling it Wrath because they knew what kind of reaction it would get. The least you could do is honor that. And for what, Brainiac? Where was he all of last season? Lex has had Brainiac-In-A-Jar for a whole year without mentioning it, and it's only just now starting to move? REALLY, writers? Deus Ex WTF. Not even a dramatic build up, just suddenly... Brainiac in a jar. Oops, I droppeded it. Darn, I guess we'll have to have Brainiac come back. Oh well, this way we can consider it a left-field CAMEO instead of a story arc.

What made it good for me was when they did take her to task, and the essential villainizing of Lana.

[quote]"Oh God! Kevin Smith disapproves of me!"[/quote]
Wow, are you okay, Neal? Need a hug? I didn't even know Kevin Smith was such a fan of bad fifth-tier TV shows. Except for the one he produces.

Heh. Good point. I think I need therapy. Someone attacked me anonymously on the internet. Har.

[quote]I think I'll call it nealneedsagf.com[/quote]
Yes! Nealsneedsagiganticfansite.com! I agree!

Heh. Awesome.

James Totten wrote:
Neal,

It's been a while since I've written in, but I'm just so disgusted by Smallville anymore and I think you're one of the few people who sees it beyond the flashy colors and the boobs. I try really hard to read some of the forums and other episode reviews on the internet, and I cannot believe some of these people are serious. Every new episode, like 80% of the posts are how this was a great episode or even the best one yet. Anyone who calls it out for the crap it is gets told to shut up, stop whatching, and how 'stoopud' they are because they just don't 'get it'.

Oh, believe me, I know. Heh.

Unfortunately, it sounds like the ratings have been backing up some of these claims. How are the ratings climbing when the writing is clearly at its worst?

Laura. People love hot chicks. This show ads one every year.

Is this really what people want? Supernatural is by far better written CW show, and yet they make it sound like they never know if they are getting picked up or cancelled. I have never missed an episode of Smallville. In fact, I have seen almost every episode multiple times from the first one to the most recent because I have introduced the show to friends and family via the DVDs. That was back when I wanted to get people hooked on it because it was a great show. I'm embarrassed by it now, and the only reason I still watch is because I feel like I have to know how they're going to end it, and it a small degree I have hope that maybe they can resurrect the show to it's season 1-3 glory. If you break the show down, don't inject what you think is 'implied', just take the show for face value:

-Clark figures nothing out for himself, everyone has to tell him, and he never listens until the last 10 minutes of the show.

-Clark gets his @$$ handed to him in EVERY fight, and is either saved by an accident, the baddie kills themself, or someone else saves him. Seriously, the only punches he has ever thrown was on Lex when he didn't have powers (and Lex hit him back and made him walk away), and when he was trying to escape his mind prision (which you can basically chalk up to a dream sequence episode).

-All the characters get shot, knocked out, beaten up, or stabbed on a nearly weekly basis with NO signs of it later.

-They pay no attention to detail anymore, something this show was really good at the first few seasons. Why did Lois go to Smallville Medical when Lana beat her up in Metropolis? Why does Clark go to Lionel for help when he knows he tried to kill Chloe (explosion), Lex (poisoned is the first thing that comes to mind), Bo Duke (succeeded), the Caves, and himself (remember the whole in prision body switch thing)? Hell, in the heaven/dream, they brought Jonathan back just to tell Clark that Lionel is evil.

-How many times is Clark going to ignore Jor-El and not learn from it even though he has even stated at several points that if he'd just listened to Jor-El -insert disaster here- could have been avoided?

-Why do the writters only know how to write in love triangles? Common, nearly every character has been involved in a love triangle at some point, even the house of El now. The only character I can think of as not being in one is Lois, and that's because they whore her off to any guest star they have on for more than 15 minutes.

All of these are true, and are a continuing problem in television narrative. The problem is, most of these things are ignored, because most of the audience lets it slip, and it's hard work to get beyond these things.

If you do, you get a show like Sopranos, beloved of all. But that takes WORK, and suits hardly allow it, because they think people can't handle it. Suits are stupid.

There's so much else wrong, but I feel like I'm starting to beat a horse you've already bludgeoned long ago. Let me just throw out there a shred of proof to back up how bad the show is now. When we were dating, I introduced my wife to Smallville. She didn't think she'd like it at first, but after I showed her the first couple of episodes, she WANTED to see more. She began watching my DVDs even when I wasn't with her because she liked it so much and wanted to get caught up. The DVDs got her through season 5 and she started watching them with me as they came out in season 6. She's been getting more and more fed up with the show to the point where last night she said she didn't want to watch Smallville anymore because it is so bad now. Let me also throw out there that this is a woman who will DVR reality shows like I Love New York 2 and Real World. THOSE are shows she can still sit through! It's not about the lack of Superman content either, I'm the Superman geek, she just sees the basic show for what it is.

I just watched Memoria again. It still moved me to tears. We're not insane. The show has lost an enormous amount of quality, drive, and care. Even I ponder not watching any more. I weigh my obligation to you guys with my fervent disappointment pretty constantly.

Anyways, keep on calling them out, maybe more people will awaken to it and demand more from this show. That's asking a lot considering there's only half a season or maybe 1 and a half left. This was a show I wanted to last forever, now I long for the series finally.

- James

Yeah, isn't that weird?

thebrakeman wrote:
[quote]Lana kisses Lex, I collapse in paroxysms of "What the #@%$?", and then she knocks him out.[/quote]
It was pretty clear that Lex kissed Lana. Lana didn't break it off right away, but Lex initiated.

True. I didn't mean to imply ownership with that.

thebrakeman wrote:
[quote]Good advice to Clark, Lana, about not worshipping an ideal of her that he's created, and letting her be responsible for her own actions. I wish to hell the writers would take her advice.[/quote]
Writers? Who are these "writers" you speak of?...

The general staff of about fifteen people who, between them, don't seem to get the basic conventions of linear story, but understand reset button quite well.

mike wrote:
how much$$ is the death of superman worth?

I will tell you this when you tell me how much a polite introduction, a request for someone's valued time, and a last name is worth.

But essentially jack poopie. It's one of the most mass produced comic in the last twenty years.

We get this letter all the time. People who saved one copy of the Death of Superman and now think they can put their kid through college. Sigh.

Eighteen dollars, last I checked. It was forty in '92. Supply and Demand. Buy a basic economics textbook. And a sketch cover, these days.

Bob wrote:
Hey Neal,

Lex has a picture of a burning field in his Kryptonian Investigation lab. You thought it was from S3 finale, the symbol for "Crusade." I admit I didn't look at it very closely, but when I read that I thought: "WFT? Surely it's the burning field from the S5 finale" (you say they re-use a motif from time to time, eh?) Which would make it the glyph for "Zod" I guess. Wouldn't that make a lot more sense, 'cause Lex was lying on the floor of his office choking on poison that his dad slipped him at the end of S3?

It might be from season five. Hadn't thought of that.

Also, it is and has been true throughout the entire series that there are never much in the way of consequences, but I personally cheered to see Clark own up to what he did to Lana in S5. I mean, regardless of anything else, he treated her like crap. It just pisses me off that Lex has to be the one to make him see it.

I completely disagree. Treating someone like crap is not trying to do what's best for them awkwardly. Treating someone like crap is constantly hiding things from them without reason. Which Lana does, Clark doesn't.

Honestly, one of my favorite moments from this series was S4, Alicia's death, and Clark is shown to have real and lasting remorse. Then of course the next episode is the football recruiting visit, and the tone is jarringly different. That's why my philosophy with Smallville has for some time been "live in the moment." Having a memory will only cause you unhappiness.

Agreed.

Bob
Philly

Will wrote:
Neal,

I reading some of the letter section, someone said that your reviews are 80% of why they still watch Smallville. I figured I write and let you know your reviews are basically the only reason I still watch Smallville.

Awesome! Thanks.

For a couple of episodes last season, I tried not watching the show, but still reading your reviews and it just didn't work. So, I've continued to watch the shows, just so I can read your reviews. Keep up the good work.

Will

That rules so much, Will. Thank you, man.

PS. Ideal, false hope. Maybe after the writers strike, the writers for smallville will have had a chance to see how badly they have written the show and make changes for the better. I know, false hope with no logic or reasoning, but I can hope.

My worry is that to the contrary, because they rushed scripts, it will suck, and won't get renewed.

Ryon wrote:
Neal,

After this week's episode, I sincerely hope the writers of the show don't go on strike, because I fear they'll have no way of feeding their families. I can only imagine how dim your review will be since not only did they not become inconsitent within the series, but also within the episode. How does Clark find Lionel in danger? And how in the hell does Kara tell Lana where to find Clark when she's suppose to be at the fortress? How does nobody realize that a ring would not be cloned along with someone's DNA?? Why didn't Clark use the same wonderskills he used for Lionel to find Kara? And why, why, why didn't they plunge the dagger into Lana??

All noted, and agreed.

This episode felt chock-full of soap opera cliches and twists. As always, I'm looking forward to your review of the episode. I always know that if the episode bombs... again, there's always some humor to be bought at its expense, care of Neal Bailey.

Ryon

Thanks, Ryon. :) Glad to bring a smile.

Bruce Kanin wrote:

OVERALL

THE BAD

THE REST

THE GOOD

COMING ATTRACTIONS

I'm stealing your joke, number one, and two, agreed on all points. Perfect synchronicity. I think the only thing I gave credit for was that Julian twist. That, I believe, gives that whole point up there, the more I think about it.

Incredible observations, as ever.

Rob wrote:
Dear Neal,

This last episode was a mixed bag. I hope they have a better explanation for the revelation at the end. Otherwise, they may have just ruined "Memoria." Unless this is a different Julian, whose age makes sense in current continuity. I hope this is the case. I still want him to die. Again, what about Lucas?

Yeah, he's as forgotten as Henry Small, so they can do the same plots again.

Why can't Clark find Kara with superspeed himself? It seems like he has a lot of free time. Seriously, what does he do? Also, couldn't he have just kept kryptonite on Zor-El, instead of essentially causing death? I suppose he killed Zod at the end of Superman 2, though.

And he killed Zor-El, ultimately.

In the previous episode, I think it would have been better if they'd ripped off Transference instead of Leech. If Clark and Lana switched bodies, then Clark could experience the feeling of being treated like a god among men and idolized, sort of like what is to come, though on a far more exaggerated degree.

Hah!

I'm wondering if they have had better effects this season because they anticipated the strike and realized they had fewer episodes to cover.

Dunno. It's much better, though, agreed. Maybe they have more producers.

It seems as if Lionel gets beaten up by someone every episode. Zor-El, Lana's witch lady, and Clark have all taken their turns recently. Lionel was lucky Clark was passing through when he was attacked. Clark should have called in the Martian Manhunter somehow to help. How did he get to his fortress?

Good point! Where is the Martian Manhunter?

I don't know if it fits your mandate for the KO categories you have, but it seems Smallville has often had various landmarks and characters named after real people connected to the Superman universe. Geoff Johns, Reeves Dam, and Loeb Bridge come immediately to mind. Also, in the season four finale, the names of one or two members of the writing staff of the show are named shortly before Clark in the graduating class of Smallville High. I know they definitely said "Holly Horton," who's written several episodes.

It does, but I don't have the time or energy to go search... and I'm bad with trivia. But if you can find a few more, shoot me a list and I'll throw it in.

At any rate, I thought the review for "Wrath" was fair. Even though there have still been some ones, I think this season might be slightly better than last season in a lot of ways, though no stand-alone episode has yet been as good as either Zod or Justice. As always, your reviews have been on the money.

Thanks!

Ann wrote:
Not for nothin' but... (this is what we usually say in my family, before we decide to explain how someone or something is totally full of crap)

I usually say, "Ah, you're full of crap. Here's why." I think it's why my family isn't talking to me right now...

And I'll proceed...

Lara says that Jor-El always kept a dagger in his house?
Even though she's holding a blade, that sounded like an ad for the NRA to me.
Lara has the dagger, and yet Clark has to destroy the crystal, and not use the dagger to kill Zor-El?

I keep a loaded gun by my bed. Never know when Zor-El might come calling.

Julian Luthor- the reason that Lionel was so distant and emotionally uninvested in Lex, (after somehow being smothered) is now suddenly alive and Lex found him? Furthermore, if Lionel put him in foster care, don't expect ME to believe that he wouldn't have been tracking his course in life, and keep him as far away from Lex as possible. Of course if he did do that, he would have absolutely no reason to keep him from Lex now- since in 'Memoria' he knew that his wife offed the baby, yet somehow she really didn't.

Yeah. Way to spit on the best episode they ever did.

Through Smallville revision yet a new cast member/anchor detracting from any real story telling. (Bring back the other brother that had ONE episode- say he took a horrible beating in an underground gambling ring- PLASTIC SURGERY!! and about 4 or 5 inches in height....)That's the brother he said he was protecting from Lionel anyway....
Aaaaand, just what does this have to do with the mythology of Superman?
(Again a character goes to the hospital- but I missed if they were Smallville Medical Center EMT's - blatant sarcasm here)

Heh.

Oh! and did you love it, Clark goes to the DAILY PLANET, this time not even wiping the blood from his face(annoyance #1- ever heard of CURAD), uses Chloe for a ride,(like she's at work gettin' everybody else coffee or something) and to help figure his newest Kryptonian problem out (annoyance #2- emotional sponge, taking when he needs and not giving back, other than the "Friend" hug) says his mother isn't a zombie (annoyance #3- slammin' Chloe's zombie mom)and to top it off- earlier in that scene he drops in the line about the ER doc saying Lana would be OK (annoyance #4 making a point out of the one thing we've all seen so much of on this show, that we didn't need it to be dropped in!).

With you. I mean, I've never heard people say, "Oh, Chloe's fine, thank goodness!"

The kind of drop-ins that we all want on this show would be about more important things, like how we've been feeling since 'so&so' died, or if we ever heard from Martha since she is under so much attention in Washington. I personally was waiting for an earlier placed drop-in of Clark to Lana- "Ya know Chloe left you 3 messages- are you ever calling her back?" Since the gauntlet was thrown down, zip. And yet we get a line from Chloe telling Clark not to put on any rings until his wedding day.
And is she going to be Lana's maid of honor this time?

Oh yeah. Think they'll remember the showdown?

Kara went surfing? With Jimmy Olsen? Oh please.

Yeah. Oy.

Lara can see Lana's darkness? Yet another thing Superman cannot do.

SOUL VISION!

So this means what? She is on her way to being remorseful- or (she was supposedly seeing Nell again) she is hiding more secrets and lies- and more rapidly becoming evil, even faster than Lex has taken to become evil.
Cooooooome ooooon!!! (She mentioned to Clark that she may not be good enough for him- and with the show being so short, not even a couple of seconds more for her to tell Lara, 'hey you're not the only one who sees my darkness- my best friend and I haven't even been talking...)
TFOC= Totally full of CRAP.

TFOS, too.

Finally- not for nothin' but- I always get this sense with a show that's been on the air for a long time. When a show is young and new, maybe not picked up yet- production values are low, so not that many big scenes, not that many extras, and more comfy surroundings. When it's hot and young, and a hit, lot's of big scenes, lots of activity, and extras-(for Smallville, it was the parties, or the Talon, School and that enviroment),or college (they never grasped college life and it's flavor, and they certainly should have, to show Clark get the journalism bug and start working as an intern for Smallville's local paper, doing the cub reporter thing)and really see him look to a world outside of Smallville. The drifting off of anchor characters like Martha, leaving Smallville before Clark does- is like closing the door on his youth. Now truly the man of the house, the man of the farm- this is what should be happening only just as he should reach the goal of finding his calling- truly in journalism and of course as Superman.

YES.

When a show hits the end of the arc, there's all these quiet alone scenes- not much outward activity- no more Talon, no more activity around Smallville. I'm sure we would see more of this, if he was atleast doing something in Smallville- through reporting on his freaky little town. Do shows that have more of him researching with Chloe. He did more of that in highschool, and he barely wrote for that paper. (Of course toward the end there are new characters that at this point just hang around, and the flip flopping of cast members to spread them around episodes-)

Yeah. I mean, he doesn't even write for fun. They don't show anything like that. Clark Kent is a NOVELIST.

This episode- although more about his history, didn't really bring him forward in my opinion. Even with the 'Planet' as a backdrop-no real atmosphere there to me (he's not there so I don't care- which makes it glaringly obvious since they continue to show it).There is still that isolated, going through the motions feel I get- like a clock that's winding down. Don't get me wrong, it is hard to keep a pace for so long, and continue to be cutting edge and relevant- but some of this just seems very forced to me. Something about the character of the show also seems to have changed- and I think it is a sense of identity crisis. That isn't a good sign.

No. Particularly with a need to be renewed coming up.

I've been through broadcasting school- Rule #1- When on camera- know who you are- you must define yourself- serious anchor, entertainment reporter, sports analyst...etc.
This applies to TV shows too. There are too many directions here- they need to pick one- and that one should be all Superman, starting now.
I'm disappointed again. There have been a lot of opportunities wasted.
There isn't much time left to finish big here.
Read ya later Neal- Ann

I know. I really know. And it breaks my damned heart.

Mark wrote:
Hi Neal,

Watching season 7 I can't help but feel sorry for Lex. He seems to be genuinely sorry for all the things he did, and is doing his best to do good and everyone treats him with contempt. People are willing to except Lionel but not Lex, why?

Because the show is randomly chaotic and without focus.

Even Lionel treats Lex with contempt after Lex saved him. Something that really angers me is the self-righteous attitude Lionel has towards Lex. Just a few years ago Lionel was arguably far more evil then Lex has ever been.

And still is. He tried to kill Chloe, tried to kill Lex, killed his own parents, and just recently beat a woman to death. Lex has nothing on Lionel.

Lana just keeps getting worse. Imprisoning Lionel was not to protect Clark but was done out of pettiness and spite. Smallville has managed to do a far better job of showing Lana's journey into darkness then Lex's. This season in particular has done a good job of showing how the more power Lana get's the more immoral she becomes.

Yeah.

Before going I wanted to bring up something that frustrates me. I'm irritated about how easy it is for people to overcome Lex's security guards and equipment. I mean even non-powered humans don't seem to have much trouble doing it. You might want to consider making a KO Count of this.

I don't have enough internets... heh.

Bye.

paul schaefer wrote:
Well its really getting harder to watch each week. Even doing mystery science theater is not working. I don't know how you do it.

Right now I don't either.

Maybe the writer's strike is a good thing for the wrong reason. Well not that it's a bad thing. But even reading the recaps on different sites is not fun anymore. It just shows how bad Smallville has gotten. I got this far I cant stop now. I do have a question.
Sometimes your vids will not play. Even when you first put them up. Is it a glitch? Thanks.

When I first put them up, that might be youtube, which glitches a lot, I find. Yeah. But if you ever need a hard copy, just email or IM me. I'll hook you up.

CHRIS wrote:
hey neal!!
I just wanted to say that it was real nice to talk to you at wizardworld in Texas. Your opinions about comic character and movies rocked. Very insightful!!!! I wanted to ask more questions about smallville and superman returns, but my buddy wouldn't shut the hell up about green latern!!!! just to let you know, he's the one who drew superman's head on your table. I haven't finished reading your huge review on SR yet, but what i read so far I agree with.

Mr. Hunter! Yes! The kids that walked by would always stop because they loved the work. They insisted on drawing on the table too, it was a blast.

No worries though, I'll be back. We'll yak then.

I'm glad you made it home safely! Have a good Thanksgiving and I hope to see you next year.
Later!!!!! Chris

You too, Chris! Thanks!

Catch you all in December... watch for vids. I WILL be playing catch up on the re-imaginings, now that the house is done.

Neal

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